Dear H & A,

Today, I wish to share the complexities and the beautifully evolving nature of fatherhood, as it unfurled for me. It’s starkly different from your mother’s experience, and I want you both to know the nuances.

Motherhood often comes with an innate maternal instinct that many women feel the moment they hold their newborn. Your mother epitomized this. Her energy, which was usually modest, suddenly became boundless when you both arrived in our world. Those midnight cries, the constant need for feeding, and the countless diapers didn’t deter her. Her love was fierce, her protection unwavering. The maternal instinct in her blossomed in ways I could never have fathomed.

For me, fatherhood was a different terrain. Unlike the stories of love at first sight, our bond took time. I wish it was instantaneous, but it wasn’t. I grumbled during those sleep-deprived nights. My patience waned, and I was occasionally careless. And in my weakest moments, I let temper and exhaustion get the better of me, leading to regrets.

H, as you grew and began to exhibit your unique character, the bond between us strengthened. Your mischievous grins, your laughter, your tears – all these experiences intertwined, making our bond even more special. And even on those days when you’d rebelliously declare your loyalty only to your mother, my love for you never wavered.

A, at just four months old, our journey is only beginning. But that radiant smile you recently shared? It was like a sunbeam piercing through a cloudy day, brightening my heart instantly.

The path to loving you both hasn’t been straightforward for me. It’s been laden with introspection, self-growth, and a profound understanding that love is sometimes a journey, not just an immediate destination.

To both of you, understand that every parent’s experience is unique. Our love for you is boundless, even if the paths we took to express and feel that love differed. Patience, time, and understanding have been my guides. And I’m eternally grateful for the joy and lessons you both bring into my life.

With all my heart,
Dad