Dearest H and A,

Life is a tapestry of moments, decisions, and experiences. As you grow, you’ll realize that our choices, and sometimes the choices of others, lead to feelings of regret. But it’s important to grasp that not all regrets are forged the same. They come in three distinct types:

 

1. Regrets of Action: Stemming from things we did — maybe words we shouldn’t have uttered or steps we shouldn’t have taken.

 

2. Regrets of Inaction: Born from the choices we held back on — the words left unsaid, doors not opened, or dreams not chased.

 

3. Regrets of Circumstance: These pains arise when, even after giving our best, fate doesn’t play along. It’s neither about our actions nor inactions but things beyond our reach.

Your mom and I often discuss our past choices, and we’ve observed a stark contrast between us. While I tend to move on quickly from regrets, internalizing lessons and pushing forward, your mom takes her time, reflecting on them deeply. But as time goes by, even she realizes that many of the things we once rued aren’t worth holding onto. This teaches us that it’s not about how fast or slow you move on, but the realization that some regrets, especially those of circumstance, aren’t worth the weight they place on our hearts.

I want to share a poignant memory with you, one I’ll detail more in another chapter. A dear friend of mine, once inseparable, vanished without a trace. My efforts to bridge that gap were futile. It was a stark lesson that there are things, regardless of our actions, that remain out of our hands.

 

Embracing Decision: The Antidote to Regret

As you both meander through the maze of life, you’ll encounter countless crossroads. Decisions are the crux of our journey, and it’s here that potential regrets find their roots. I’ve always believed, and I wish to impart this to you, that when faced with uncertainty in decision-making, if you’re not sure, just take the leap. But remember, before jumping, ensure that the choice won’t harm your loved ones, be it directly or indirectly.

By adopting this philosophy, two things happen: You’ll collect experiences that many, paralyzed by indecision, might miss out on. And secondly, even if things don’t pan out, the solace of ‘trying’ eclipses the shadow of ‘what if’. And always remember, no matter the outcome, if you’ve taken these steps keeping your loved ones in mind, I will always stand by you and support your decisions.

My hopes for both of you are:

– Embrace Age and Perspective: With time, many regrets diminish, leaving behind only wisdom.

 

– Find Your Balance: Feel deeply, but also recognize when it’s time to release.

 

– Share Your Journey: Discuss your joys, fears, and regrets. Voicing them can often lead to clarity.

 

– Welcome Each New Day: Let every dawn gift you a fresh slate, free from yesterday’s shadows.

H and A, in life’s vast panorama, regrets are mere specks amid the vibrant hues of love, laughter, and learnings. And amid all the ebbs and flows, always remember how cherished you are.

Forever yours,

Dad